End of another work week

And hopefully the end to the week from hell. This week, starting Saturday, has been hell...emotionally and physically. Physically, as you know I've been battling a cold. I am finally getting to a point where I feel somewhat human again. I still have a little cough and occassionally it's like I hack up a lung but...at least when I cough it's coming up. I can breath somewhat easier and I don't feel as run down. Emotionally...it's been like a drop from hell.

In a comment Mouse made to Spirited, she said it was the summertime blues. I guess in some way it is like that. All week I've felt like crawling up in a corner, pulling the covers over my head and hiding. That isn't exactly like me. M and I have felt distant at best. He's been in a...well, cold mood and stressed. I felt pushed away so I began analyzing everything. Sucks being a virgo...we tend to be over-analytical, over logical and self deprecating at times. I just knew I had done something wrong and everything I did do wrong became like glaring, unforgiving flaws. Throw on top of the issues we've had to deal with that are from my side...the custody issues and such, I just knew it had to be my fault.

I got rewarded with a task. I was told I needed to stop being so down and hard on myself. So...I did. But it just flipped things around. I then began rationalizing that if it wasn't me...then what was it? What happened to create this preverbial "elephant in the room?" Finally last night, we talked about it. He assured me it is only the stress from work. He's had a deadline he's been up against. Nothing was wrong with us, I had done nothing wrong, we were fine.

So, I am taking him at his word. I still feel a little off but I am trying to right myself. I still feel a tad gun shy and find myself needy for time with him. Sadly, I won't get that for at least another month. I will try to find something to busy myself with, something that will hopefully get my mind off of the distance and missing him the way I do.

Let's just pray next week is better. I can't keep up with this nagging in the back of my head...