I know, I said I was closing the blog. And honestly, had thought about just starting over. I did for some personal writing but...honestly, I've missed this. I kept up on reading most of the blogs...seeing you all so active made me realize that in the end...I can no more turn away from me being a submissive than a grain of white rice deny it's white. Just saying, it's part of who I am and ultimately, no matter who is in my life or where I go, I have to be true to who and WHAT I am. It's the only way to be happy, if they don't like it...then they can get out.*Shrugs*
But, In any case, that isn't really my reason for writing. Here lately, in my group of friends, the topic of discussion has mainly centered around relationships and the fact that some feel that men do not ultimately see the end goal. Now before you get all macho and think this is going to be a man hating session, that is not my intention. I personally see the fault on both sides. What fault? The fault of taking your significant other for granted. I am not overly sure that is exactly the right way to put it, but that sums it up best. For the purpose of this conversation though, it's mainly been women giving the input of the fact that their male counterpart seems to have just forgot that they exist or that they seem to be emotionally unaware.
No matter vanilla or baskin robins, no matter who the woman is, Every woman has an inner "Princess." Yes, a princess. Most guys I know fully believe that most women just expect the whole fairy tale ending, the romance in movies. If you happen to be one of those, let me set the record straight. Yes, there are some out there like that. Those women I find are really just in love with "being in love." Which we can all agree, the stuff seen in movies and read in fairy tales is not exactly accurate nor can it be attained in reality. But for the majority, that is not exactly true. We see reality for what it is and we don't expect perfection.
What we do want and expect is to be our spouse/significant others #1. We ultimately want to be YOUR princess. No, I am not saying we all want to be worshiped and placed up on an alter...not in the literal sense. But, we do need that security of feeling like we are that special to you. We don't need "hearts and roses" every day, but we need to occasionally be appreciated and be reminded of what we do mean to you. We do need to know that you still find us attractive (even more so as we get older)...and YES, that does mean occasionally telling us we're beautiful without having to ask. And honestly, that is a two way street. Our guys need to be the princes of our castles.
When dealing with long term relationships, so often you hear complaints that all of that stops. We get into a new relationship and everything burns bright. The passion, romance, going out of our way to tell the other how we feel. Then, when the "honeymoon" stage wears off, we lose sight of that. We begin to take the person we are with for granted. We, in essence, get complacent and take the attitude of "well I don't have to impress them as much." That is so wrong and a sure fire way to kill things. Love and a relationship are living breathing things just like children, plants, pets.
Take for instance, children. Whether we adopt or give birth, we start off with this little person. We have to feed, nurture and care for them. We protect them and love them beyond measure. We would ultimately give our life for them if need be. We guide them, teach them, mold them into what we hope to be well rounded adults. When they leave to start their own life, we don't abandon any of those previous things. Those emotions, those ties...they all remain just as they were. Kids do things that we are not always proud of. They get into trouble, they back talk, they sneak out, they don't listen. It's rough being a parent. There are days when you literally look at them and find yourself thinking "Right now, I totally see how child abuse could happen." But we don't turn our backs or stop loving them for it right? No, in all honestly, we double our efforts. We find ways to make it work. Why? Because of love and the relationship we have with them. It is a living, breathing, ever evolving thing.
Think about a plant. Whether we start with a seed or a starter plant, we put it in our garden. We tend to it, water it, feed it, nurture it. When it finally blooms or produces fruit, we don't stop do we? No, we continue to love and nurture it so that it doesn't die. The same with a puppy or kitten. We don't stop tending to it just because it becomes an adult animal do we? So then why on earth would you think that way of a relationship. We don't buy an animal or a plant for life. But we do ultimately want to find a partner or spouse that we can grow old with.
Love and relationships are not easy. They are as complicated as children, plants and pets...even more so. But like those other things, Love is a living breathing thing that requires work and commitment to make work. And not just from one, but from both. Dates shouldn't stop just because you marry or have been together for years. Taking the time to tell them you'd give all for them shouldn't stop because you think they know already. Calling or texting in the middle of the day just to say I love you or I miss you, shouldn't stop just because you get busy. Letting them know they are still the object of their fantasies shouldn't end just because life gets hectic or you assume they should already know that. The truth is...none of us are elephants. We live in a world where there are always things to distract us from the better things in our lives. We have to be occasionally reminded that we trump those distractions.
I will leave you with an exert from the bible that seriously impacted my life. Even if you aren't religious...it still speaks great truth.
1 Corinthians 13
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
