It's Christmas Eve and for the first time all day the house is quiet. The kids are asleep, my sister is in the room finishing her last minute wrapping...which is kinda funny to watch being virtually one handed and all but everything is just...quiet. Typically I would be jumping for joy because it doesn't happen often but honestly after the last few days I am almost too spent to truly appreciate it.
If anything though...it's allowed me time to sit, think and meditate.
Tonight's mass was one that was sheer inspiration and spoke not only our blessing with the birth of our Lord, Jesus...but of change. His birth changed us all, we know this but something the priest said struck me. His comment was "Just as a mother becomes almost a servant with a devotion to this new born child in her life, Jesus' birth has made us all servants and has given us this level of devotion." He went on to elaborate that not only are we devoted servants to him and God the father...but we should also be sharing that sentiment with our fellow man. That we are so incredibly blessed by the gift of life and love, that we should not hold it to ourselves but "pay it forward" so to speak. Yes...as a catholic, more importantly as a devout christian, I completely understand where he was going with that. But as a submissive, it spoke on an even greater level.
So often, you hear of those in our lifestyle struggling with the religious aspect. I will not even go into the comments I've heard from those of the more...vanilla ilk. As a Catholic, the topic did cross my mind a time or two in the beginning. There are verses all through out the bible that are very "lifestyle" oriented...but this was the first time I'd actually heard in church that we should serve others. So my question is this...If it is ok for us to enlist in volunteer services such as working in soup kitchens, adopting senior citizens, etc....then what is so different about us volunteering to serve another..more importantly a Master or Mistress? How can our lifestyle be wrong religiously? There really isn't a difference and it can not be wrong. Ok, so some would have issues because we call them Master or Mistress. Vanilla's call each other Baby, Dear, Snookums...They are terms of endearments. Me addressing Master as such is just that. I call him that out of respect, but more importantly out of complete love and sincerity.
Master is a god fearing man, both of us church going people with a strong love for and close relationship with God. We support each other in that and value it for what it is...Our faith comes first. I can not speak for Him, but for me I feel that it is my faith that helps me in my service to Master. It is by God's blessing that I have Master in my life and it is by God's grace that I am able to be "subserviant" to Him. Through my devotion to God, I learn to serve. For anyone who's ever married...the words "To Honor and Obey" are still very much used in a woman's vows to her husband. Scripture speaks of the man being the head of the house and wife as a Priest is to his followers, as Jesus is to us. A man is meant to lead his wife/woman in not only her day to day life but in her faith...but the key there is BEING LED.
So, again I pose the question How can our lifestyle relationships be wrong in the eyes of religion? For the most part, I don't think it is. Sure, I can see how it would be classified when having multiple partners because no matter your christian religion, they all preach monogamy. But as for the basis of D/s or M/s, I do not see where it can be faulted. Perhaps you do not agree, but that is the beauty of life...we are all entitled to our opinions..wrong or not at least I have one.At the end of the day, it will be I who has to stand in front of God and answer for things I have done...but I will stand there knowing I was blessed by him with a loving Master.
Merry Christmas all...More importantly, Merry Christmas Master. May it be a very blessed and love filled day for You and Your family.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Because it needs to be said
I can not openly put a name to the pick in my profile but so that everyone is clear...this is for Master.
I come to you
Naked and on my Knees.
I am empty and hungry
But I know your love will never run dry.
It is your arms I run to for comfort,
your voice leaves me breathless
and your presence sometimes leaves me blind
But only your touch can bring me to life.
I offer you all that I am,
Everything I have is yours.
I beg you to make me complete,
I come to you...
Through all of the ups and downs, you never fail to catch me when I fall. I love you more than I did yesterday and tomorrow I will love you more than I do today. I can only pray that I never cease to make you proud, that I never stop being something you smile about. U/us is what brings me to life, the ultimate key to happiness.
I come to you
Naked and on my Knees.
I am empty and hungry
But I know your love will never run dry.
It is your arms I run to for comfort,
your voice leaves me breathless
and your presence sometimes leaves me blind
But only your touch can bring me to life.
I offer you all that I am,
Everything I have is yours.
I beg you to make me complete,
I come to you...
Through all of the ups and downs, you never fail to catch me when I fall. I love you more than I did yesterday and tomorrow I will love you more than I do today. I can only pray that I never cease to make you proud, that I never stop being something you smile about. U/us is what brings me to life, the ultimate key to happiness.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Subwise Journal Topic - December
Reflecting in the past year, how have you progressed in your submission? What challenges have you overcome and what others are you still working on?
This one took a little bit of thought I have to say. I haven't exactly kept up with this and that is my fault. I guess that is one thing I am still working on...journal writing to deal with thoughts, feelings and such. But...on to the matter at hand shall we?
The past year has been one of constant change. I started out the year unowned, unattached and pretty much free to do as I pleased. Now, was I happy about that? Not particularly. As a sub, and those of you out there will understand, the desire to have a Master/Dominant in my life is something that will always be an undercurrent. I started the year out smarter than I had been in the past...my past mistakes and relationships had given me a clear picture of what I ultimately wanted and needed relationship wise...whether vanilla or D/s in nature. I began with more self confidence than I had ever had in the past, thanks to a few special people in my life...Ricke being one of them. One important thing was...I wasn't looking for a Master. I had come to a point where I felt being on my own was a smart thing. I'd had gone through 2 D/s relationships back to back and a vanilla relationship in between. It was too much of a roller coaster for me and I needed to get myself back on track with a lot...I had even stopped being active in the "community". As I said, I was resigned to work on growing on my own and not dealing with the cleanup that often comes from a relationship...no matter how clean the break is...there is always something that needs to be mopped up.
Now, did I stick to that? I did...for 5 whole months. Imagine my surprise when it came out of no where. I will not lie, it was like hitting a brick wall and all I could do was nod and say "Yes sir" lmao. No really, it did come out of left field and yes it had taken me for a whirlwind. The source? A very good friend, someone I had already come to trust, looked up to and respected a good deal. Now shhh (that means you too M)I know you are sitting there laughing, saying "Oh yea, we've heard the friend excuse before." This time it was true. He had things going on in his life and I was dealing with my own. I knew of his interests in lifestyles and he knew mine. It had not been an issue or even a consideration really until late one night online, talking, things went one way and at the end of the evening I was left heading to bed with the thought of "WTF are you thinking?" Honestly, I wasn't. At that point I was not even giving it much consideration. The next day, we talked and things were back to normal...well...sort of. The following days were as they had been, we talked on the things we always talked about but with one difference...instead of the topic of "our lifestyles" just coming up...we began comparing, discussing more in depth what both were really looking for. More importantly, I began seeing him in a different light. One problem...I was extremely concerned about not only the relationship he was exiting but also the fact that anything further could and possibly would affect the relationship we always had.
To make a long story short, after a week we decided to "test" the waters. We would just let things progress on their own and see where it went. That lasted for a little while...OK maybe not as long as either of us had intended but in the end I willingly gave my submission and to this day without any regrets. Now enters the fact we were both now dealing with a long distance relationship...more importantly a long distance D/s relationship. This was relatively new to me. Why? Sure, there were times previously with Mike's military obligations and even Ricke's work taking him out of town. But this was completely new. On my end, I was now having to learn how to adjust to a permanent long distance situation. Previously, I knew at said given time the others would be back home. This was a matter of not knowing when we would be face to face, the fact he had one schedule, I had my own and...the list could go on.
Six months later, it is something we still deal with but the important thing is we deal with it the best we can. Sure, it puts a strain on us and no...we haven't been able to see each other when we want. But it has not really made our commitment any less important or weaker. If anything, for me I have found I value my time with him all the more. I am learning to juggle my schedule, my daughter, his schedule and life in general a little better. Does it get to me? Sure...I wouldn't be a normal sub if I said otherwise. As a sub, I have learned new ways to submit, new ways to serve and new ways to show my devotion to him as my Master.
While a lesson, it hasn't always been an easy learning experience...it's also lent to other issues and lessons that I've had to learn. Stress...To top off having to learn another Master's ways and dealing with a new type of relationship...there have been tons of mountain sized speed bumps in the road. He's had things on his end and I've had more than my fair share on my end. Being long distance, it wasn't as simple and being able to come home at the end of the day and laying it at his feet for help. I haven't exactly dealt with the stress as well as I should and my submission has suffered because of it. Self doubt and self confidence. Now this has never been something I've had a huge issue with. I am pretty confident about myself. I know I am not, nor ever will be a supermodel...far from it, but I know I am pretty in my own right and I consider myself pretty darned intelligent. But due to a few health issues and other issues that have popped up along the way...they both have taken a few hard hits and have become issues. But...I am learning to deal with them and he does help with that when I reach the bottom.
What have I overcome? Well, I don't think there is anything we truly overcome. Every issue we run across will manifest itself again...just maybe in a different form. The key is learning to deal with them better every go around. If we overcame...then we stop learning and that is something we never want. When we stop learning then it's time to get off of the ride. As for my "ride"? It's the best roller coaster I've ever been on. I know there are a lot of things I need to work on, the ones listed being the biggest issues and...My Master may not be perfect but he is MY idea of perfect. I look forward to learning and growing more with him. Without a submission there is no Dominance and without Dominance there can be no submission.
This one took a little bit of thought I have to say. I haven't exactly kept up with this and that is my fault. I guess that is one thing I am still working on...journal writing to deal with thoughts, feelings and such. But...on to the matter at hand shall we?
The past year has been one of constant change. I started out the year unowned, unattached and pretty much free to do as I pleased. Now, was I happy about that? Not particularly. As a sub, and those of you out there will understand, the desire to have a Master/Dominant in my life is something that will always be an undercurrent. I started the year out smarter than I had been in the past...my past mistakes and relationships had given me a clear picture of what I ultimately wanted and needed relationship wise...whether vanilla or D/s in nature. I began with more self confidence than I had ever had in the past, thanks to a few special people in my life...Ricke being one of them. One important thing was...I wasn't looking for a Master. I had come to a point where I felt being on my own was a smart thing. I'd had gone through 2 D/s relationships back to back and a vanilla relationship in between. It was too much of a roller coaster for me and I needed to get myself back on track with a lot...I had even stopped being active in the "community". As I said, I was resigned to work on growing on my own and not dealing with the cleanup that often comes from a relationship...no matter how clean the break is...there is always something that needs to be mopped up.
Now, did I stick to that? I did...for 5 whole months. Imagine my surprise when it came out of no where. I will not lie, it was like hitting a brick wall and all I could do was nod and say "Yes sir" lmao. No really, it did come out of left field and yes it had taken me for a whirlwind. The source? A very good friend, someone I had already come to trust, looked up to and respected a good deal. Now shhh (that means you too M)I know you are sitting there laughing, saying "Oh yea, we've heard the friend excuse before." This time it was true. He had things going on in his life and I was dealing with my own. I knew of his interests in lifestyles and he knew mine. It had not been an issue or even a consideration really until late one night online, talking, things went one way and at the end of the evening I was left heading to bed with the thought of "WTF are you thinking?" Honestly, I wasn't. At that point I was not even giving it much consideration. The next day, we talked and things were back to normal...well...sort of. The following days were as they had been, we talked on the things we always talked about but with one difference...instead of the topic of "our lifestyles" just coming up...we began comparing, discussing more in depth what both were really looking for. More importantly, I began seeing him in a different light. One problem...I was extremely concerned about not only the relationship he was exiting but also the fact that anything further could and possibly would affect the relationship we always had.
To make a long story short, after a week we decided to "test" the waters. We would just let things progress on their own and see where it went. That lasted for a little while...OK maybe not as long as either of us had intended but in the end I willingly gave my submission and to this day without any regrets. Now enters the fact we were both now dealing with a long distance relationship...more importantly a long distance D/s relationship. This was relatively new to me. Why? Sure, there were times previously with Mike's military obligations and even Ricke's work taking him out of town. But this was completely new. On my end, I was now having to learn how to adjust to a permanent long distance situation. Previously, I knew at said given time the others would be back home. This was a matter of not knowing when we would be face to face, the fact he had one schedule, I had my own and...the list could go on.
Six months later, it is something we still deal with but the important thing is we deal with it the best we can. Sure, it puts a strain on us and no...we haven't been able to see each other when we want. But it has not really made our commitment any less important or weaker. If anything, for me I have found I value my time with him all the more. I am learning to juggle my schedule, my daughter, his schedule and life in general a little better. Does it get to me? Sure...I wouldn't be a normal sub if I said otherwise. As a sub, I have learned new ways to submit, new ways to serve and new ways to show my devotion to him as my Master.
While a lesson, it hasn't always been an easy learning experience...it's also lent to other issues and lessons that I've had to learn. Stress...To top off having to learn another Master's ways and dealing with a new type of relationship...there have been tons of mountain sized speed bumps in the road. He's had things on his end and I've had more than my fair share on my end. Being long distance, it wasn't as simple and being able to come home at the end of the day and laying it at his feet for help. I haven't exactly dealt with the stress as well as I should and my submission has suffered because of it. Self doubt and self confidence. Now this has never been something I've had a huge issue with. I am pretty confident about myself. I know I am not, nor ever will be a supermodel...far from it, but I know I am pretty in my own right and I consider myself pretty darned intelligent. But due to a few health issues and other issues that have popped up along the way...they both have taken a few hard hits and have become issues. But...I am learning to deal with them and he does help with that when I reach the bottom.
What have I overcome? Well, I don't think there is anything we truly overcome. Every issue we run across will manifest itself again...just maybe in a different form. The key is learning to deal with them better every go around. If we overcame...then we stop learning and that is something we never want. When we stop learning then it's time to get off of the ride. As for my "ride"? It's the best roller coaster I've ever been on. I know there are a lot of things I need to work on, the ones listed being the biggest issues and...My Master may not be perfect but he is MY idea of perfect. I look forward to learning and growing more with him. Without a submission there is no Dominance and without Dominance there can be no submission.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)