Define your personal submission. Tell us what submission means to you and how your perfect submissive life would be like if there were no obstacles in the way.
What does submission mean to me? Well, it’s quite simple really in my own head and thoughts. It’s the giving of my complete self to another’s will, to serve him in all things, anticipating his needs and desires and being the one to provide that for him. I gain happiness and feel whole from bringing him happiness, pleasure and completeness in life. I choose the life of servitude in exchange for the love and guidance of another.
My ideal submission? This one isn’t so easy because I am not one to live in a fantasy world or day dream as I have found it usually leads to disappointment. Not being pessimistic, just being realistic in this day and age. Off the top of my head, when asked what I am looking for…I guess my answer to that would be best fitting here. Ideally, I want the same thing every other sub hopes for…the ONE. My ideal submission would be serving a worthy and loving master, one who is not only my master but a lover and life partner as well. I want the security and ability to give of myself completely to him, bending to his will. To serve him daily in everything I do, whether it be pouring him a glass of water or folding his clothes or being his favorite bedroom toy at the end of the day. I want to make him proud of his ownership of me, to feel the weight of discipline for the things I do wrong, to feel and know the love and affection that comes with rewards when I’ve served him well…trusting him to be the one to make me a better person not only for him but for me as well. My ideal submission would be fully submitting myself, heart, mind, body and time to someone who loved and adored me as much as I them. I am sure there are those reading this who scoffs at the mention of love. If you do, then you shouldn’t be in a D/s relationship. It takes a lot of love, time and work to fully submit yourself to another. It takes an equal amount of love, time and work to accept that submission. It’s a beautiful and sometimes over powering thing but it can be completely worth it at the end of the day.
Now with that said, while I am not the dreaming kind…I will not settle for anything less. Why? What I ask for isn’t really out of the norm and I know my worth. That’s not being cocky, it’s being confident. For those of you NOT familiar with being submissive…it’s a good thing to have. Without it, you run the risk of being used by “men” wanting to be a DOM but not mature enough to handle the role. There are a lot of them out there, believe me…I’ve seen them and know a few.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
To save or not to save...
Today, I read an article and it got me thinking. Not so much about my own relationship but I would guess it would come into play there as well. What happens when there’s been a break in the relationship? Not just a small infraction but what if either party gets to a point where there is a break in trust or belief in the other? What if one of them feels a total disconnection? Can such a relationship be mended? In the article I read, it was suggested that probably not. I am not completely sure how I feel there. Part of me says that if it’s worth saving, if you both love each other enough that it can be saved. But, there is that other side, the more “logical” side of me that makes me stop and consider.
Logically speaking…For me, trust is not easily given. It is a valued item and I typically find that it takes a lot for me to honestly trust another. So once broken, it would take moving heaven, hell and earth to get it back. I am of the opinion that if something that precious is given, one would take care of it, value it as I do…not treat it as though it’s a common place item to be trampled upon or disregarded. If my trust in someone was broken, I cannot say with certainty that I could give it back. It would greatly depend on the break in trust that occurred but even then it’s still incredibly iffy. As I said, trust is something I do not give lightly. Once broken, it would create a type of fear or anxiety of the same thing happening again.
Optimistically speaking…I would hope that, depending on what the break was, that if the relationship was worth saving, we could work on things. The old adage comes to mind, forgive and forget. Sure, it would still take time to build things up…but if I look at it from an optimistically point of view, it can be saved. If you love each other enough, anything can be overcome. I’ve personally seen it done. The important thing there though is that BOTH have to be willing. We are all human, we all make mistakes. The key there is that we learn from those mistakes and grow, leaving behind the behavior that led to the mistake and embracing a new enlightened path.
This is where the decisions come in though. Say the damage is done, the trust is broken for one reason or another and you’re both sitting there staring at each other or a blinking cursor on an IM box. The anger is abated and now there is just hurt, confusion and fear. You need to ask yourself “Is this worth saving?” No one can answer that for you. Sure, others can give advice but here your own head and heart will have to battle it out to come up with a conclusion. Do you love the other and do you honestly believe that the other truly loves or cares enough about you to work at it? Are you willing to forgive and move past it? Are you willing to risk all to save what you have? And those are just the “vanilla” questions. All of those and more apply with a D/s relationship. Was the contract (if you have one) invalidated with the infraction? Is there enough of the foundation left to re-establish that connection? Are you willing to re-center yourself?
In our D/s lifestyle, trust is a major link in a relationship…even more so in my opinion, than a “vanilla” relationship. If you ask why, then perhaps the lifestyle is not for you. A sub’s complete well being, physical and mental, is in the hands of someone else. There are activities that we may often partake in that could be dangerous. We have to have complete trust and faith in our partner whether Dom or sub. A sub has to know without a doubt that her/his Dominant has their wellbeing always at the forefront of their mind. A Dominant has to know without a doubt that their submissive/slave is completely upfront and open with them to properly discern any risk of harm. Taking all of that into consideration, I can see how that statement of “It isn’t fixable” could be ascertained. But there is one thing not taken into consideration there. That is the basically level of love and care that is so prevalent in a D/s relationship. Yes, there is love there. We are not so unlike “vanilla” couples in that respect. In fact, there has to be love and caring for the relationship to work at all. You have to love and care about someone to willingly give yourself over to their will. Just as you have to love and care about someone to willingly take on the burden of guiding them through life, helping them achieve betterment for you and themselves. So…the question is posed…taking that into consideration…is it completely a waste of time to work on fixing a busted relationship or is it worth the time to fix it, piece by piece? I can’t answer that for everyone, we all have to decide it for ourselves.
For me, it all comes down to my Master. I know that without a doubt that I love him more than I had even realized you could love someone. (Granted that does not include my daughter…but that’s different. A mother’s love is instant and unwaivering…at least it should be.) What is sad about that statement is I was married and did not have that so new territory for me. But in any case, I know on my end what we have is worth saving should it come down to it. But…that is only my side of things. As I said, he would have to make that call for himself.
Logically speaking…For me, trust is not easily given. It is a valued item and I typically find that it takes a lot for me to honestly trust another. So once broken, it would take moving heaven, hell and earth to get it back. I am of the opinion that if something that precious is given, one would take care of it, value it as I do…not treat it as though it’s a common place item to be trampled upon or disregarded. If my trust in someone was broken, I cannot say with certainty that I could give it back. It would greatly depend on the break in trust that occurred but even then it’s still incredibly iffy. As I said, trust is something I do not give lightly. Once broken, it would create a type of fear or anxiety of the same thing happening again.
Optimistically speaking…I would hope that, depending on what the break was, that if the relationship was worth saving, we could work on things. The old adage comes to mind, forgive and forget. Sure, it would still take time to build things up…but if I look at it from an optimistically point of view, it can be saved. If you love each other enough, anything can be overcome. I’ve personally seen it done. The important thing there though is that BOTH have to be willing. We are all human, we all make mistakes. The key there is that we learn from those mistakes and grow, leaving behind the behavior that led to the mistake and embracing a new enlightened path.
This is where the decisions come in though. Say the damage is done, the trust is broken for one reason or another and you’re both sitting there staring at each other or a blinking cursor on an IM box. The anger is abated and now there is just hurt, confusion and fear. You need to ask yourself “Is this worth saving?” No one can answer that for you. Sure, others can give advice but here your own head and heart will have to battle it out to come up with a conclusion. Do you love the other and do you honestly believe that the other truly loves or cares enough about you to work at it? Are you willing to forgive and move past it? Are you willing to risk all to save what you have? And those are just the “vanilla” questions. All of those and more apply with a D/s relationship. Was the contract (if you have one) invalidated with the infraction? Is there enough of the foundation left to re-establish that connection? Are you willing to re-center yourself?
In our D/s lifestyle, trust is a major link in a relationship…even more so in my opinion, than a “vanilla” relationship. If you ask why, then perhaps the lifestyle is not for you. A sub’s complete well being, physical and mental, is in the hands of someone else. There are activities that we may often partake in that could be dangerous. We have to have complete trust and faith in our partner whether Dom or sub. A sub has to know without a doubt that her/his Dominant has their wellbeing always at the forefront of their mind. A Dominant has to know without a doubt that their submissive/slave is completely upfront and open with them to properly discern any risk of harm. Taking all of that into consideration, I can see how that statement of “It isn’t fixable” could be ascertained. But there is one thing not taken into consideration there. That is the basically level of love and care that is so prevalent in a D/s relationship. Yes, there is love there. We are not so unlike “vanilla” couples in that respect. In fact, there has to be love and caring for the relationship to work at all. You have to love and care about someone to willingly give yourself over to their will. Just as you have to love and care about someone to willingly take on the burden of guiding them through life, helping them achieve betterment for you and themselves. So…the question is posed…taking that into consideration…is it completely a waste of time to work on fixing a busted relationship or is it worth the time to fix it, piece by piece? I can’t answer that for everyone, we all have to decide it for ourselves.
For me, it all comes down to my Master. I know that without a doubt that I love him more than I had even realized you could love someone. (Granted that does not include my daughter…but that’s different. A mother’s love is instant and unwaivering…at least it should be.) What is sad about that statement is I was married and did not have that so new territory for me. But in any case, I know on my end what we have is worth saving should it come down to it. But…that is only my side of things. As I said, he would have to make that call for himself.
3 Roses
A friend of mine sent a link to me today for a website...which I am including the link at the end of this post. While reading on the site, I came across this and it made me smile. Today so far has been pretty crappy, my mood quite down. Not very sure why but I do know it is contributing to the sick feeling in my stomach. I will have to meditate tonight once home and things with Ding are tended to. But, this did help a bit and wanted to post it here...
The 3 Roses
Author Unknown
The gift I give to you is the gift I give to no other
The joy you bring to me is the joy no other has filled me with....
The Love I give to you brightens my day
The love you give to me brightens my life....
The single rose I give to you holds the single desire of my life to be yours....
The single rose you receive is a hope that you share my desire....
The second rose I give to you holds the second desire of my heart....
To be your best friend, held by you, comforted by you
and to walk beside you....
The second rose you receive is a hope that you will always walk beside me,
comfort me and be my best friend....
The third rose I hold out to you is the gift of my complete submission to you, my power turned over to you....
The third rose you accept from me is your acceptance of my gift....
The gift I give freely without reservation
My life held by you and only for you!!
Like I said, it just kind of fit and felt the need to share. The website itself I found has a lot of useful information. It's very well written and will recommend it to other friends.
http://www.seekers.org.uk/
The 3 Roses
Author Unknown
The gift I give to you is the gift I give to no other
The joy you bring to me is the joy no other has filled me with....
The Love I give to you brightens my day
The love you give to me brightens my life....
The single rose I give to you holds the single desire of my life to be yours....
The single rose you receive is a hope that you share my desire....
The second rose I give to you holds the second desire of my heart....
To be your best friend, held by you, comforted by you
and to walk beside you....
The second rose you receive is a hope that you will always walk beside me,
comfort me and be my best friend....
The third rose I hold out to you is the gift of my complete submission to you, my power turned over to you....
The third rose you accept from me is your acceptance of my gift....
The gift I give freely without reservation
My life held by you and only for you!!
Like I said, it just kind of fit and felt the need to share. The website itself I found has a lot of useful information. It's very well written and will recommend it to other friends.
http://www.seekers.org.uk/
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
My New Journal
I started this journal at the suggestion of a close friend. I've kept a journal before but always on paper, never online. But one thing I've learned with this submission...there are a lot of firsts. I had not really considered it before now because I write daily emails to my Master. But sadly, my master and I got to a point where things were not going as they should have. Life was getting in the way and taking a heavy, heavy toll on both of us and our relationship. We got away from the core values of a D/s relationship and for me...my thoughts and such began to deteriorate, it was unhealthy. Despite my daily emails, there were thoughts and doubts that began to seep in and I wasn't...correction, didn't feel comfortable or secure enough that I could voice them. Sure, I dropped things now and then in emails. But as with everything else, those were falling by the wayside as well. It came to a head one day, when I could no longer contain the things in my head and I felt the farthest away from him than I ever had with anyone before. Every thought, feeling, and most doubts just basically ejected themselves from my mouth without warning. I wouldn't suggest trying that at home kiddies, it's a hazard to one's health.
Either way, I finally said what needed to be said and in it's wake it only left both of us lost and me...well, I was just hurt. I sought out the advice of dear friend within my community who'd been there for me before. She was not my usual "advice" call, but she was trusted to be objective. She had a lot to say on the issues at hand, pointed out that both of us had been wrong and suggested I take up a journal, preferably online. My master and I are long distance for the time being...so it makes sense. But this was to be a place where I could get ideas, thoughts and feelings out without any fear of retribution. More importantly, this is to become a way for us to keep the lines of communication open and flowing to avoid a repeat of that incident.
Now granted, I am fully aware that this is not to be used to get out of punishment for something done wrong. Those issues will still be kept within the private confines of my daily emails to him. With that said, I did receive punishment for my own wrong doings to bring about the fallout. Luckily tonight was the end of that week long journey. I can honestly say I did learn my lesson there. More over, it did help to bring me back to center where my submission is concerned. Now down to the fun stuff....
Either way, I finally said what needed to be said and in it's wake it only left both of us lost and me...well, I was just hurt. I sought out the advice of dear friend within my community who'd been there for me before. She was not my usual "advice" call, but she was trusted to be objective. She had a lot to say on the issues at hand, pointed out that both of us had been wrong and suggested I take up a journal, preferably online. My master and I are long distance for the time being...so it makes sense. But this was to be a place where I could get ideas, thoughts and feelings out without any fear of retribution. More importantly, this is to become a way for us to keep the lines of communication open and flowing to avoid a repeat of that incident.
Now granted, I am fully aware that this is not to be used to get out of punishment for something done wrong. Those issues will still be kept within the private confines of my daily emails to him. With that said, I did receive punishment for my own wrong doings to bring about the fallout. Luckily tonight was the end of that week long journey. I can honestly say I did learn my lesson there. More over, it did help to bring me back to center where my submission is concerned. Now down to the fun stuff....
Why Choose Submission?
Why choose submission? Good question but one not so easily answered. The word alone strikes fear in some, for others it is total ecstasy. To those of us that find value in submission, it can mean so many different things. One thing is always the same…it is the selfless act of giving ourselves over to the will of another. For me, it is all of that and more. It is the ability to set myself free from the binds of everyday life…work, house and motherhood. Sure, I know what some women think. We’ve come so far, made so many advances to assert ourselves in society…why go backwards? It isn’t about that…point blank. I am an intelligent being with a good head on my shoulders. I have, what I believe are, good morals that I do my best to instill in my daughter. I can talk about politics, art, music, literature. I hold down a full time job in which I have my own team of people under me. I am not rich by any stretch of the meaning…my bills are paid on time, I own a home and a car, neither of which are paid off, and my daughter doesn’t go without food, clothes or the other basic necessities. But, I am for all purposes, an independent woman. So…why do I need a man right?
That is easy…I am still, underneath all of those finer things, a woman. It isn’t a case of necessarily needing a man. I can make due on my own. It comes down to knowing who I am and being a strong enough woman to admit that I am not ok to do it all alone. The women of today have made a lonely life for themselves. They push for so much independence that we have forgotten the true value of a man. It isn’t about sex, it isn’t. I could easily satisfy the urge in any manner I choose. I could choose to walk the Sapphic line, I could pick up men in bars, I could do as I’ve done many times before…BOB. But let’s face it, none of those can quite compare to a strong man’s man who has not only his own but my best interests at heart. I am ok with admitting that I need that firm hand for guidance and discipline, that loving touch to let me know it’s ok when I stumble and that affection that can only come from praise for doing something right. I am strong enough to admit I need the dominance that can only come from… a man.
Am I nuts? Not in any sense of the word. Being submissive does not make me crazy nor does it mean I crave abuse. Yes, I am a masochist in the fact that I do derive pleasure from some pain. But it is not the driving point, it isn’t why I choose submission. So many people automatically think submission means you want to be beat. Some say it is because I was abused as a child. Sorry, my father was a very loving man who gave me a total of MAYBE three whippings growing up. And god forbid anyone told him to use a belt. He didn’t believe in that, said he could judge the firmness of his hand a lot better than that of any object. Never once did he ever lay a hand on my mother either. She would have hit back and he knew it. But…it is possible the lifestyle was learned at home. My mother was a stay at home mom. She took care of us five girls while dad went out and earned a paycheck to keep a roof over head and food on the table. When he came home, it was all about him. When dinner was done and there was a pork chop left on the table, you better not touch it. Had any of us done so, we would have gotten a slapped hand. No, it was not free until my dad passed on it. Dad was king and my mother was every bit his queen. Every decision was discussed between the two of them but the final decision was ultimately his.
For those of us in the lifestyle, it was very much taken in hand. Growing up, I admired them both for their relationship. Being independent, I told myself that I didn’t want to be my mother but only in the respects that I wanted to be able to work. Otherwise, my mom and dad had this…amazing bond. Those of us in the lifestyle understand what I mean by that…but it really was so incredibly beautiful. In my father’s eyes, my mother was a goddess no matter what she was wearing. She wasn’t just the mother of his children, she was the very air he breathed. For her, my dad was everything. They were incredibly loving people and sure, growing up we all went “Ewwww” when they kissed. Still to this day I will joke they only had sex five times…enough to produce us kids. But in all actuality, I know that they were still very much like honeymooners. What is amazing is that it was still like that after 21 years. Their partnership was so simple, It went beyond the vanilla “true love” rationale. Yes, they loved each other like no other and my mother’s life has not been the same since his passing. But it was more, He was the dominant…shaping her, molding her and making her a better person. She was his loving submissive, completely at his will and bent to him like a tree in the wind….perfect harmony.
It took me a long time to understand what any of that truly meant. I didn’t even have that in my marriage. To be honest it took me a while to really come into my own, to really discover what I wanted. But god when I did, it took off. It became an obsession. I was lucky enough to have my best friend confide feeling the same way, the same desire to for a dominant and the want to explore the world of BDSM. It was during this exploration that I met my first master, Mike. While it was not to last, he was a great start. He trained me and got my feet wet in the lifestyle. He gave me the direction I needed so for that I am thankful and will always be appreciative to him. After him, I began really researching the complete world of D/s, everything that it entailed. For me, I was in love instantly. This was what had been missing in my life. Along the way, I met my second Master through a friend. He was more experienced and was able to help me grow a little more as a submissive woman. Again, much like the first while there was a serious connection, one that will always be a part of me…there was still something missing. We ended up wanting different things. He wanted only to be a trainer and I, by this time knew I wanted the full life dominant, I wanted what my parents had.
We both moved on and are still friends. But I continued on my search. I’ve made many friends who share my love for D/s and have learned so much but still I know I have only scratched the surface. I had given up on my search of the dom for me. As great as the lifestyle is, it has grown and the secret is out. So many have come in and have, sadly, polluted the waters in ways. Some, using the lifestyle for the wrong reasons, some just going with the flow without really learning and abiding by the core values we try so hard to uphold. While I do get excited for those wanting to come in, I tread lightly because it is such an important decision to make. It isn’t for everyone but you have to make the choice based on the right decisions. As a dom, it can not be made because you have to have someone to boss around and control every little thing. A dom has to have a heart and the ability for great compassion and affection. Your slave or submissive needs guidance and molding, not an iron fist for every little mistake. For a sub, it can not be because you lack self esteem and think you need someone always telling you what to do in order to live. A sub should be strong and confident enough to make decisions when her Master can not, to know what he needs without being told, confident enough to love him for everything he is especially his faults but be brave enough to take the needed criticism when you’ve done wrong. Happily, I can say that for the first time in my life I have given my full submission to one such man. He came as a total surprise and I had not been looking for one. But…I could not be happier. It is still incredibly new for us but we grow daily. I am shocked and thrilled by the depth of emotion and sheer connection we have. Can I say he is the ultimate I’ve been looking for? No, but I can say he, in my eyes as perfect as they come. He is new to the lifestyle but he still teaches me things daily. I am so incredibly proud to call him master and I look forward to seeing us grow even more. Yes, I do love him more than I thought possible and sure, it is scary. But…that is part of the thrill in our lifestyle. Without fear, we are careless.
That is easy…I am still, underneath all of those finer things, a woman. It isn’t a case of necessarily needing a man. I can make due on my own. It comes down to knowing who I am and being a strong enough woman to admit that I am not ok to do it all alone. The women of today have made a lonely life for themselves. They push for so much independence that we have forgotten the true value of a man. It isn’t about sex, it isn’t. I could easily satisfy the urge in any manner I choose. I could choose to walk the Sapphic line, I could pick up men in bars, I could do as I’ve done many times before…BOB. But let’s face it, none of those can quite compare to a strong man’s man who has not only his own but my best interests at heart. I am ok with admitting that I need that firm hand for guidance and discipline, that loving touch to let me know it’s ok when I stumble and that affection that can only come from praise for doing something right. I am strong enough to admit I need the dominance that can only come from… a man.
Am I nuts? Not in any sense of the word. Being submissive does not make me crazy nor does it mean I crave abuse. Yes, I am a masochist in the fact that I do derive pleasure from some pain. But it is not the driving point, it isn’t why I choose submission. So many people automatically think submission means you want to be beat. Some say it is because I was abused as a child. Sorry, my father was a very loving man who gave me a total of MAYBE three whippings growing up. And god forbid anyone told him to use a belt. He didn’t believe in that, said he could judge the firmness of his hand a lot better than that of any object. Never once did he ever lay a hand on my mother either. She would have hit back and he knew it. But…it is possible the lifestyle was learned at home. My mother was a stay at home mom. She took care of us five girls while dad went out and earned a paycheck to keep a roof over head and food on the table. When he came home, it was all about him. When dinner was done and there was a pork chop left on the table, you better not touch it. Had any of us done so, we would have gotten a slapped hand. No, it was not free until my dad passed on it. Dad was king and my mother was every bit his queen. Every decision was discussed between the two of them but the final decision was ultimately his.
For those of us in the lifestyle, it was very much taken in hand. Growing up, I admired them both for their relationship. Being independent, I told myself that I didn’t want to be my mother but only in the respects that I wanted to be able to work. Otherwise, my mom and dad had this…amazing bond. Those of us in the lifestyle understand what I mean by that…but it really was so incredibly beautiful. In my father’s eyes, my mother was a goddess no matter what she was wearing. She wasn’t just the mother of his children, she was the very air he breathed. For her, my dad was everything. They were incredibly loving people and sure, growing up we all went “Ewwww” when they kissed. Still to this day I will joke they only had sex five times…enough to produce us kids. But in all actuality, I know that they were still very much like honeymooners. What is amazing is that it was still like that after 21 years. Their partnership was so simple, It went beyond the vanilla “true love” rationale. Yes, they loved each other like no other and my mother’s life has not been the same since his passing. But it was more, He was the dominant…shaping her, molding her and making her a better person. She was his loving submissive, completely at his will and bent to him like a tree in the wind….perfect harmony.
It took me a long time to understand what any of that truly meant. I didn’t even have that in my marriage. To be honest it took me a while to really come into my own, to really discover what I wanted. But god when I did, it took off. It became an obsession. I was lucky enough to have my best friend confide feeling the same way, the same desire to for a dominant and the want to explore the world of BDSM. It was during this exploration that I met my first master, Mike. While it was not to last, he was a great start. He trained me and got my feet wet in the lifestyle. He gave me the direction I needed so for that I am thankful and will always be appreciative to him. After him, I began really researching the complete world of D/s, everything that it entailed. For me, I was in love instantly. This was what had been missing in my life. Along the way, I met my second Master through a friend. He was more experienced and was able to help me grow a little more as a submissive woman. Again, much like the first while there was a serious connection, one that will always be a part of me…there was still something missing. We ended up wanting different things. He wanted only to be a trainer and I, by this time knew I wanted the full life dominant, I wanted what my parents had.
We both moved on and are still friends. But I continued on my search. I’ve made many friends who share my love for D/s and have learned so much but still I know I have only scratched the surface. I had given up on my search of the dom for me. As great as the lifestyle is, it has grown and the secret is out. So many have come in and have, sadly, polluted the waters in ways. Some, using the lifestyle for the wrong reasons, some just going with the flow without really learning and abiding by the core values we try so hard to uphold. While I do get excited for those wanting to come in, I tread lightly because it is such an important decision to make. It isn’t for everyone but you have to make the choice based on the right decisions. As a dom, it can not be made because you have to have someone to boss around and control every little thing. A dom has to have a heart and the ability for great compassion and affection. Your slave or submissive needs guidance and molding, not an iron fist for every little mistake. For a sub, it can not be because you lack self esteem and think you need someone always telling you what to do in order to live. A sub should be strong and confident enough to make decisions when her Master can not, to know what he needs without being told, confident enough to love him for everything he is especially his faults but be brave enough to take the needed criticism when you’ve done wrong. Happily, I can say that for the first time in my life I have given my full submission to one such man. He came as a total surprise and I had not been looking for one. But…I could not be happier. It is still incredibly new for us but we grow daily. I am shocked and thrilled by the depth of emotion and sheer connection we have. Can I say he is the ultimate I’ve been looking for? No, but I can say he, in my eyes as perfect as they come. He is new to the lifestyle but he still teaches me things daily. I am so incredibly proud to call him master and I look forward to seeing us grow even more. Yes, I do love him more than I thought possible and sure, it is scary. But…that is part of the thrill in our lifestyle. Without fear, we are careless.
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