With so much available to us now...blogs, tumblr, google...it is very easy to "fall in love" with the idea of D/s or, for me, the DD/lg lifestyle. On any of those sources, you can find beautiful pictures, poetry and stories about how absolutely beautiful it can be. You will come across pictures that show the most loving of scenes between a Daddy and his little girl. Stories and testimonies that tell, in the most intimate of detail, about the safety, comfort, love and acceptance found in the solace of a Dom's arms. Wonderful GIFs that express the utter joy that comes from being owned, being taken. Images and words fuel the mind. They give us fantasies, glimpses into our most ultimate desires. They can often erase or ease past hurts, make us forget, cover the reality that is outside our doors.
But, what about that reality? The reality in all of those things...the pictures, the stories, the testimonies, is that before any of those moments can be made real, we have to accept the truth. A D/s relationship, no matter the dynamic, is first and foremost just that...a Relationship. It has the same pitfalls, hurdles and mountains to climb as a normal "vanilla" relationship. Work, home life that can sometimes include children, the outside world constantly butting in, Car repairs, house work, illness, pet problems...that list could go on for an eternity, you get the jist there I would think. But to muddy the waters even more, throw in the more complex responsibilities that come with a D/s relationship. Rules and guidelines that are often outside the norm, the demands and responsibilities that come with both submission and domination. It can sometimes be a seriously rocky road or slippery slope.
Do not get me wrong, I am confessed tumblr addict. I love the blogs I follow. I am and always have been a sponge when it comes to learning or reading more when it comes to this lifestyle. I love all the "rainbow" pictures and "glass slipper" posts, they exemplify the desires I have in a relationship...the ultimate peace that I do know can only be found with a good Dominant to guide me. But, I am also ever-mindful of the reality in things. It is not a cake walk. It is not easy. It will not always been sunshine and happiness. There will be stumbles. I will disappoint at times, so will he. I won't always get my way, neither will he. There will be times when I don't quite feel "up" to being a sub just as there will times when he may feel like taking a breather from guiding me or picking me up off the ground. That is just the way life goes. For a lack of better terms, shit happens and it happens often. If the relationship is indeed reality based and not based on a fantasy, the hard moments will pass and the rainbows will come out again.
A Dom I follow on tumblr could not have said it any better. So, I would like to share his wisdom with you here.
