Knowing when to hold ‘em or fold ‘em

I know, sounds really pretty corny. But, Kenny Rogers gave some good advice there. In life, we all come across that very thing a lot. There are always cross roads and obstacles and we must all be able to make the decision of holding our course, no matter how bumpy or choosing to go the other direction. We always have a choice, the issue being knowing what decision to make that you can live with.

What is sad is that usually…the choice is never an easy answer and only you can make it. My Sister-in-law has been coming to me for support as of late. Her husband had an affair recently. After a lot of deliberation, they both decided that they do not want to throw away their marriage and would like to try to make it work. I commend the decision but can not say I personally would be able to do so. Since the decision was made, she’s been doing everything in her power to do just that…make it work. On his end though, it has been coming off that he doesn’t want to really put in the effort. She often asks what I would do and I found myself struggling to answer. My opinion is different than hers on the matter so while I want to help, I don’t want to jade her opinion and possible ruin what could very well be something salvagable.

But, after a lot of contemplation and searching…using my own life, my own relationship experience and that of those around me, I had to basically tell her what I discovered. I can not tell her what to do, what choice to make because it would not be my own. You have to figure out where your limit line is, how much you are willing to possibly sacrifice because every choice requires a sacrifice of some kind whether it be something as simple as time or food flavor? What are you willing to accept and what are things you just simply can not agree to? Is staying healthy or are you just doing it out of an unhealthy reason such as masking the pain or fear of being alone? Are you willing to accept failure should it happen?

The list there could go on and on but you get the picture. Decisions are something only you can make, no one else can do it for you. Now, it doesn’t mean we can’t be supportive and be a sounding board. We as friends can even give valuable advice that could aid you in makign your decision. But ultimately, no matter what our answer is, you must remember that it has to be your choice…what YOU can live with.