On May 29, 2009, A man whom I considered a very close friend and I were presented with a unique opportunity. He was a budding Dominant and was beginning his exploration into the world of D/s. I was an unattached submissive who’d been traveling that road for 3 years and while some parts were rough, I stayed the course. After endless conversations and contemplation on both parties. I saw intriguing potential, a glimpse into the person he typically tried to hide from everyone else. I wanted to see what he’d become if given the chance to really spread his wings so to speak. He saw a chance to get his feet wet. The fact that we were long distance was weighed but we threw caution to the wind. On the day above, for seperately but equally selfish reasons, I gave my submission to him and he gladly accepted on the basis of trial and error…testing the waters so to speak to see what would come of it all.
The first three months were..interesting to say the least. We both had to adjust to each other. Me to his style of dominance and he to the submissive I was. We spent time learning each other, testing boundry lines and just really getting to know each other on a completely different level then we had before. He proved to be quite natural in his leading, his hand firm and his mind always a few steps ahead of me. His endless knowledge intrigued me, his wit and humor captivated me and I found trusting him was incredibly easy. The trust part of course had come into play well before, something built over time as a friend but now the bounds were strengthening. More importantly I found myself feeling something I said I refused to allow myself to feel again. I was falling head over heels.
Then, reality began to settle back in and life began proving to be a more fickle bitch than it ever had before. Over the course of the next several months our relationship had been put through every test imaginable from the loss of loved ones, financial difficulties, cancellations of plans and…trust issues. During these times I found myself completely in love, looking at him more than just my Master or Dominant. But he did not make it easy. He kept me at arms length, he kept everyone at arms length. He broke my heart more times than I can count during this time yet…there was something holding me there. I found myself unable to walk away. Perhaps it was stupidity, some friends even suggested that very thing but somewhere, in the deepest part of me I could not tear myself away.
Right before the trip in March, I found myself at a pinnacle. I mentally had gone through enough and my heart was raw from my stubborness. After months of waiting, he was finally going to be here. I was excited and scared shitless at the same time. I honestly felt he and I were on the verge of ending…I was considering it heavily but said the vacation was my last ditch effort. Either he’d step up to he plate and be the Dominant I needed and knew he could be or…I’d walk. That very thought broke my heart into a thousand pieces. But, then he arrived. The moment he stepped through the airline gates and smiled at me it was over. I knew without a doubt he was where I was supposed to be. When he hugged me, I was home.
Those few days did turn the tide. For the first time in my whole life, I felt whole. For the first time since I’d started my journey into TTWD, my service and submission made complete sense. There were no questions and I found I did not have to force it, any of it. I found pride in my submission and understood what other submissives had been trying to tell me. Funny thing is though…he found solid footing in his dominance and in his love for me. I can’t speak for his ex’s, but I did see a side of him that I’d never seen in all the while I’d known him. One that, the belief in, had kept me planted to his side despite any of the bad times we’d gone through.
On May 29, 2010 M and I make a solid year. Had you told me a few months ago we’d get this far I would have probably spit in your face and called you a liar. But, we have and I’ve never been more sure that this is where I am meant to be. He has become so much more than just my Master or Dominant. He is my best friend, my lover, my boyfriend and my future Husband. I look back over the very rocky path we’ve had to travel to get here and ya know what? Every step, every broken heart, every sleepless night…it was all worth it. My heart was right in fighting and never giving up. We’ve found something rare and seriously sought after. Everyday he proves to be the Master I knew he was capable of and more. I can only hope that no matter what, my service measures up to that.
Thank you M for being just as stubborn, if not more, for being you and for being selfish enough to want to get your feet wet. God did bless our broken road...
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