One would think this is an easy topic. Sure, a million things jump to mind at first thought but all the things that need to be said and want to be said...well...I have to dig for those. Only because describing the depth of what we have is something that just can not completely be done. So...I'll start with the hardest ones and work my way in. Yes...in, because your greatest bits are hidden underneath your "cloak of mystery"...or more bluntly put...your rough, hard-as-nails exterior.
So, why you? It's the devil may care attitude. The fact that you hold everyone at arms length, even when you trust them. It's the impatience you get when things are not going your way. The asshole attitude you take when you know you're right and don't wish to be bothered. It's the way you pretend to not care when in truth, on the inside you're seething. It's the way you always know just what to say, even when I don't want to hear it...or anyone else for that fact. It's the fact that it always has to be your way...because you said so. It's the way you go quiet when you're angry or upset. It's the way you will go out of your way to say something just to stump someone just so they don't really see what you're really thinking. It's the way you hide behind a calm, cool visaed. It's your perfectionism and OCD tendencies. It's the way you will tell someone to go fuck themselves all the while wearing a smile. It's the way you will oh so slickly move people to see it your way and no other way. It's your devil forked tongue and smooth words that could deceive even the most astute of people. It's the fact that underneath the cover you show the world, it isn't always put together or has all the answers. It's the fact that you'll admit you're wrong but will still argue your own point regardless. It's the fact that it took you 9 months to really let me in.
It's the sound of your voice. It's the evil grin that can be heard in your voice when the wheels are turning in your head. It's the fact that you don't generally allow me an inch. It's the way that when you do allow me room, you only have to look at me or say one word to let me know I've gone far enough. It's the way you don't see in yourself what I see. It's the fact that you still sometimes try to hide the darkest parts even though you know I know they are there. It's the fact that no matter how imposing you try to come off as, under it all you have this incredibly warm heart. It's the fact that when you look at me, really look at me, I feel like the only person in the room...even if it's the middle of a crowded street or bar. It's the way you can give me "the look" one minute and in the next, look at me from the side and smile before giving me a wink. It's the way you lay there silently playing with my hand, staring at the way they fit together for a while before opening your mouth and saying something profound or witty. It's the way you pull me back down to earth when my head is in the clouds.
It's because you care enough to pull things out of me, even when I don't want to talk about it. It's because you make me walk, even when I don't want to. It's because you never fail to know what is best for me...and because you always want what is best for me. It's because you won't let me win just for the sake of letting me win. It's because you infuriate me by not just letting me be mad for a while. It's because, you love my tears and will move heaven and earth to get them even when I don't want to cry. It's because you will wait for the most inopportune time to tell me something earth shattering in turn making me cry. It's because when I am at my worst, puffy eyed, and sniffling red nosed that you tell me I'm beautiful and could not ask for more. It's because you remind me of what and who we are together, even though I could never truly forget. It's because you allow me to be territorial at times. It's because you laugh at me when I sneeze. It's because you never just let me walk away.
It's because you never shirk responsibility. It's because you want to share your knowledge with others. It's because you're dominant. It's because you people watch and laugh when the evilest of things come out of my mouth because you were thinking it. It's because you will call me a cunt when I'm being one...or when you feed my appetite for humiliation at the best of times. It's because you never fail to rise to the occasion (no pun intended...ok...well partly lol). It's how you always seem to know what I am needing or feeling without having to say. It's because you hold the keys to everything I never wanted and wasn't looking for...but yet everything I need and then some. It's because you scare the shit out of me yet you're home in every way.
It's because you follow me all over the bed when we sleep, never letting me get more than an inch from you. It's because you won't allow me to buy shoes even though I want them so bad I can taste them. It's because you punish me when I've done wrong. It's because you let me know when you're disappointed, even if it kills me. It's the way you forgive me so easily, even when I don't think I should be. It's because you make me feel at home in my own skin. It's because at the end of the day, you want to spend it with me. It's because you give a shit to call and congratulate my daughter on riding a bike without training wheels and for losing a tooth, even though she pulled it out. It's because you care enough to fix my screw ups. It's because my daughter sees what I does and says you're cuter than Justin Beiber and Joe Jonas.
It's because you kiss my forehead. It's because your fingers play in my hair. It's because you like showers...a lot hehe. It's because you call me your own personal playground. It's because you aren't afraid to hurt me and love my bruises just as much as I do. It's because all you have to do is give me that look when you're over me and nod to set me flying. It's because you want to push my limits. It's because you like my disgustingly dirty mind and encourage the most unlady like of thoughts. It's the way you laugh. It's the way you smile...that thing, even though you think it's cheesy, it will light up the darkest of rooms. It's because it only takes the touch of your hand to bring me to my knees...and that you like me there. It's because you like my inner geeky nerd.
It's because you call me yours. It's because you call me little one. It's because you want to lead and love that I want to follow. It's because you decided to throw caution to the wind and accepted my submission...even if it was on a selfish whim. It's because even when I got to the brink of leaving, you'd pull me back. It's because even when you knew I had things pegged, you were selfish enough to keep me hooked. It's because you broke my heart but always found a way to put it back together.
It's because you allow me to be myself and complete me even when I thought I was whole. It's because you love me enough to cry in front of me. It's because you almost didn't get on that plane. It's because you've stripped me of every last hiding place I had. It's because when I am standing there, naked and afraid, you tell me you would not want me any other way...
Honestly...this list is just beginning. Every day I could add another 100 things to it and it still not be complete. Why you? Because of everything you are, have been and ever will be. Because of everything you do to and for me...
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