The MPD Life of the Modern Submissive

Today, while catching up on blogs, I was reading Finding Sara’s post from the other day in which she detailed her description of being stopped by a police officer and the Art of Authority blog’s response to it. It hit home for me.

In the fast pace of life, it is rare anymore that, in a family dynamic, the submissive or wife or female can stay home anymore. It is not like the days of our parents where Mom stayed home to care for the house, kids and husband. Now days, both work which in turn does give us submissives something of an identity complex. While at work, no matter what you do, you (as a submissive) are in charge of your work load, sometimes in charge of others even sometimes in charge of multiple departments or corporations. You have to shed the submissive tendancies and step into the role of being Dominant. Then, when the work whistle blows, you have to make sure to check that persona into your desk or locker or trunk of your car, don your submissive persona and head home where you tend to your Dominant, house, cooking, possibly kids…whatever.

At least that is the way it’s supposed to work in theory. But, let’s face it. We are all human and just like Dominants struggle in situations where they have no control, we struggle when control is placed in our hands and we have to determine when, where and how to use it. It’s contradictory. I know for me personally, I find myself often wondering why control was given to me at all because it isn’t something I wanted in the first place…hence being submissive. Then comes the problem of just shedding that “personality” that is required for me at work when I come home. I will find myself asking after I’ve cooked, cleaned the house, seen to the daughter, directing her through her own chores and homework…When does it end?

I know…HOW UTTERLY HORRIBLE OF ME! A SUBMISSIVE SHOULD NEVER THINK LIKE THAT! Whatever…I may be submissive but I am still human. Yes, I absolutely love the submissive life. I love serving M. I love having the family we have, can not wait for it to grow and would not trade any of it for anything in the world. But, I will also be the first to admit it is not easy…this multiple personality life of Submissive, Fiance/Wife, Employee, Mother, Daughter and Sister. The strain of the constant switching does sometimes get to me. I do have to remind myself or have M remind me of my place. I am always having to strive to keep myself and my submission together.

And ya know what? I am ok with that. Sure, I’d love to be a stay at home submissive and mother. But I am, above all else, a realist. Right now, I can not. So…every day, I get up, dress for work, get Ding off to where she needs to be, go to work, deal with everything there, come home, do the house wife thing and submit myself to M all over again. I stumbler along the way…a lot. But unlike with work or with being a mom…I have someone there helping me correct those mistakes, reminding me of my stumbles and helping me work to not make the same “stumble” next go around.