Limits

The other day Sir J made a post on pushing limits and I'd have to say it really kind of got me. M and I have been discussing things lately and for a while due to the stresses and such in our lives I had this un-nameable want for something. I could not put my finger on it and no matter how much I meditated on it or what have you, I just could not give voice to what it was. For a bit, I felt maybe it was just a desire to be pushed. But now...I believe I know exactly what it is.

As a submissive, it isn't really about limits for me. Sure, I have them and some of them are soft...breakable if you will. They are areas of unknowns and some of those unknowns should and will be discovered. They are opportunities for growth...and that is where, in my mind, pushing limits should come in. Otherwise, it isn't pushing that I need on a day to day basis. It's M's dominance, his control I need. I need to be put in my place, reminded of my submission. Our daily lives can be hectic. We all work, have jobs, take care of kids, etc...it is easy for us to lose sight of the D/s or M/s components of our relationships. So many that I know have often said during this time is when they need to be pushed or on the other side of the coin, feel they need to push. I don't think it's the right use of terminology.

Sir J asked a wonderful question "What exactly is gained by the pushing of all limits or pushing them all the time?" The answer for me is...nothing. It isn't pushing I really need all the time, it's guidance and control. If we push all the time, you quickly get to a point where the opportunities for growth dry up. Then...you're stuck in a stagnant relationship. Who wants that? I don't. Rome wasn't built in a day or a month or even a year...our relationships and areas for exploration should not be done that quick either.

So my opinion? Stop pushing, enjoy being a dominant and allow us as your submissives enjoy the taste of control and order in our lives. It's pretty much why we chose you isn't it?