Silence

Sometimes silence is needed but there are other times that the very silence you seek is deafening. Perhaps it's because of the world we live in today. Everything is hustle and bustle, there really is never a quiet time. No matter where you live anymore, there is always some sort of noise. Firetrucks, car horns, traffic on the main road, police cars, neighbors...the list could go on. We adjust ourselves to those noises and they become habit. It's like sleeping with a fan or Window unit air conditioner. You just adjust. But then, you go somewhere else, say on vacation. You're in the middle of no where and there is complete silence. At first, it's nice. You smile and think to yourself "Wow...this is sooo peaceful and I am so going to sleep like a log."

But, if you're anything like me. Silence provides too much time to think. Silence leaves you in your own head to think, day dream, analyze, etc. It gives us time for our minds to go for a ride on its own. The silence becomes filled with thoughts, musings, memories. But too often, it is filled with words left unsaid. So much so that it begins to scream louder than any noise we are accustomed to. And it's in those deafening moments that the worst of thoughts, ideas, assumptions and plans are born. That scream without sound often will push us to say things we wouldn't say otherwise.

And sadly, sometimes those words that emerge from the silence are words that were better left unsaid...silent. I'm dealing with silence today and can not say whether it's good or bad. It comes on the tail end of an argument that was in a way spurred from the very deafening silence I spoke about. It's a double edged sword that has left me feeling...out of sorts and I am not quite sure how to resolve it.

But, this is really the song that's been playing in my head all day. Too fitting for my taste.