Shadow Attacks

Over the last several weeks, no matter where I go whether it be fellow bloggers that I follow or on FET Life, I keep seeing the same thing. Unwarranted attacks by Anonymous. I've sat down here at my desk many times to write on it but I always end up with the same thing. I sink to this shadow's level, in essence arguing needlessly a case for TTWD. I always end up deleting everything I've written because let's face it, so many of us are doing just that only to end up with a seemingly never ending string of comments that go back and forth getting us all no where. Knowing anything that I've started up until now would only be said in anger and sure, it may make a point, it would still just be more fuel for this Shadow's argument. But...today, I think it's time for a change.

A lot of what we do in this lifestyle is controversial at best. It goes against the very grain of what society "preaches" where women are concerned. We do things in our private spaces that can sometimes be admittedly risky. Outsiders see us as perverts and freaks. We get it, we know it and it's time some in our lifestyle just accept that we probably won't be changing the world anytime soon. Sure, we should educate the dumb but in the end, as long as it's a choice we made to be here, it's only our opinions of our own lives that matter. Sadly, we still live in a world full of prejudices and the over-opinionated have seriously outnumbered the more well mannered.

Today, we exist in a world where secrets, especially dirty ones are hard to keep. Television and the world wide web has given everyone the power to have knowledge of almost anything at our fingertips. So, people are exposed to more. A lifestyle that was never really meant for the main stream has suddenly found itself outed among the common population. In some ways it's good, because we no longer have to live in solitude in our closets and finding other like minded people has become easier. We are able to build our networking communities for educating and supporting the interested and practicing members alike. But sadly, there seems to be just as much bad with it because we are now open to the close-minded as well. It's a facet we sadly have to accept as reality. If we choose to have blogs and live somewhat open, then we have to take the bad that comes with that decision as well.

BUT! By the same token, just like with any prejudice or racial oppression, we do not deserve it either. The common theme to Anonymous' comments generally all run the same. The Dominants/Masters/Mistresses are horrible, abusive people and us submissives are scared, brainwashed lambs who are stuck in an archaic and abusive relationship...and we all need mental help. My question is, on what basis is this ASSUMPTION made Anonymous? What medical fact? Do you have documented proof that this is what it is? If so, PLEASE feel free to share. More over, please feel free to share your doctorate in psychology as well. In the end, instead of spewing unchecked and untested rhetoric, give us something to chew on. You'll actually find we're all quite educated and TTWD stretches further than you think.

In my research to "base" your argument on, I came across something I felt needs to be shared. It's controversial sure but then one of the points you've made is that we are "setting things back for women a million years." It's called Sex-Positive Feminism. It basically centered on the woman's right to choose her sexuality and oppose the forces that be that try to censor and demean it. Something you, Anonymous, need to realize is that in the end, it is OUR choice. You CHOOSE to be vanilla. And that's cool, no one in this lifestyle will tell you that this is for everyone. It very much is not. But, by the same token, we've chosen to walk this path and for us it is very rewarding.

Let me put it this way. You may look at life and decide "In order for me to be happy I have to have...." A house, a car, a boat, wheat bread only, parkay over real butter...whatever...you get the point I am sure. For us, we do what we do because we've deemed this is what will make us happy. It can't be called abuse if we are asking to get a spanking. We can't be called stupid, dumb, deaf or blind because most of us go through pain staking efforts to make sure we are well educated in the lifestyle. It's like a saying one of my best friends tell me all the time "You can't rape the willing." It comes down to consent and everything we do and practice is consensual.

Sure, we can all admit that abuse happens. Some of us have even been in abusive relationships as well as some of us are survivors of rape. Key word there is SOME, not all. But we ALL (Those that are serious about the lifestyle we've chosen) take our responsibility of our partner's welfare seriously. Hell, if truth be told...I'm a submissive and my Dominant could probably say I'm the abusive one. I know there are times I tax him emotionally. There are times when I've taxed him physically...call me a nympho, he likes it and nurtures that me. That pretty much blows your abuse theory out of the water.

So...before you go blasting others, educate yourself. Use manners as well. We're civilized people and you know what? We're actually pretty cool people if you'd take the time to talk to us. You don't have to agree, hell some of us welcome the challenge of a difference of opinion. But...stop wasting your time and ours with your close-minded, off handed and uneducated arguments. We have better things to do...like have a life. And for those in the lifestyle...don't give into the temptation of hate that people like this cause. Most of us monitor our comments, use it. It's a great feature and if a comment comes through that serves no real purpose or response to your post...delete it and move on. We've got bigger fish to fry.