Tired

Thank god it's Friday. Another day in the week and I'd scream. To be honest, after the last couple of weeks I'm just...tired, exhausted both mentally and physically. My insomnia has not been very well behaved. Then there's just been too much on my mind. So...I'm tired, tired of not sleeping, tired of all the stuff in my head, tired of not being able to shut my mind off...just...tired.

Then, throw being aggravated on top of being tired. I read somewhere though that lack of sleep would exascerbate the problem. Well...if the stuff that keeps aggravating me would take a break or go away, then I could sleep and thus...not be tired. Right? I'm not that lucky. So, I am stuck in that vicious cycle. I'm aggravated by a few things going on in my life right now which leads to too much thinking. Too much thinking mixed with my insomnia makes for a serious lack of sleep. According to studies, the lack of sleep in females lead to more aggravation so instead of catching a break somewhere in all of this it only gets worse.

I dunno. I just want a happy, normal day. I've woken up in a good mood the last two mornings, have told myself that no matter what I will have a good day. Then...reality, broken promises, lack of effort and crappy work place sneak in to bitch slap me and say "I dooooon't think so hooka! I make the rules now suffa!"

Scary thing is...I totally just heard a voice in my head saying that. Perhaps lack of sleep is leading to delusions too. I would guess so, I've been delusional in thinking there'd be changes for the better. I'm delusional every night when I lay down to go to sleep and tell myself that tonight will be the night...then 3 hours later I look at the clock for the millionth time and feel like crying because in 4 hours I have to be back up.

Sorry for the rant. Just had to get that little shot of bitchiness off my chest. I have a long evening ahead with my daughter, my 5 yr old neice and my 3 yr old neice running amuck in my home tonight. *Prays that God keeps her from totally going crazy* I am hoping it's enough to keep me busy and wear me out so that I like pass out lol

Happy Father's Day early to all of you Dads and Daddys out there!