Really, that is about how I feel right now. Every day it becomes more and more frustrating because I find myself angry at every turn. Even the daughter is feeling it and my family...well, they are pretty much just staying out of the way.
I find myself angry at myself when I absent-mindedly begin writing a morning email. Or like yesterday, sending the typical lunch time check in. Oooh I got so down right mad at myself. But, it didn't get recognized anyway so I guess I shouldn't really hold a grudge...especially with the inner me lol. I get angry for being angry. They say it's all a natural part of the grieving process. And honestly, I never really gave thought to grieving the loss of domination. But it very much is the same. I go from moments of sadness to anger. I feel a little bit on the schitzo side but, it too will pass. It's just hard finding that silver lining when you're in the thick of things.
I've been considering therapy, just to help deal with the turmoil of emotions. Just hard finding a "kink-friendly" therapist here in the Big Easy. It isn't something that's exactly advertised and I've been in touch with friends in the community here for suggestions and oddly, no one seems to know anyone. So, I very well may have to suck it up and seek counsel with someone of the vanilla variety and pray that they at least can grasp the concept of TTWD enough to NOT commit me to a mental ward lol. Just kidding, any therapist at this point should be ok. It's the fundamentals of what they are there for that need help.
But, we shall see I would guess...
No comments:
Post a Comment