So, I decided with my new found "freedom" that I would take the daughter and go visit family in Texas. The invitation came in to spend Thanksgiving there and after a little deliberation and talking to my Mom, I decided that I would take it. So...I leave out tomorrow morning. Kind of happy about it.
It's been over a week now and yes, things are getting better. Every day gets a little easier and good news is...no more tears. The typical mood swings come and go. The sad moments are fewer and father between and I have more happy moments now. The biggest thing that has set in is anger. I find at times, I get out right angry and so betrayed. Now that things are starting to come around, I have time to think a little clearer. And there are just some things that don't make sense as to "why" and how it all played out.
I have my own theories but in the end, I guess it really doesn't matter. I am working hard not to hate. I don't want that either. But, I see now too clearly just how thin that line between love and hate are. Kind of strange really, to love someone so much and yet you want to kick their teeth down their throat at times lol. No...I am not a violent person. But...in my anger, there are times I could be.
But in any case, I want to wish all of my friends here a VERY Happy Thanksgiving. Despite the pain, I do have things to be thankful for. You guys here who have given support, please know that I am extremely thankful and your names will be on my list of things to give thanks for.
Love you all!!
Banana
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